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"Wine Smiles"

  by Fred McMillin


New reader Diane Bulzomi likes some of the funnier lines in WineDay and asks for a sampling of earlier smiles she's missed. Let's get it on.

Fess Parker

Fess Parker changed from guns to grapes.

I liked Fess Parker's comment about getting into the wine business: "After completing my Daniel Boone TV series, I was beckoned by Bacchus."

...March 21, 1997 WineDay

Robert Mondavi was always the chatterbox of the family, which contrasted with his father, Cesare, "whose idea of a conversation was a shrug of his shoulders."

...Dec. 14, 1998 WineDay

Our worst pun about Simi's fabulous winemaker, then Pres.,Zelma Long. The headline of the article read "Come Up and Simi Sometime."

...June 27, 1997 WineDay

Over a century ago when the Beringer brothers founded their Napa Valley winery, the division of labor was as follows. Jacob raised the grapes; Frederick raised the cash.

We sipped Fetzer Pinot Noir with the ribs at San Francisco's Bull's Texas Cafe. The menu explained Texas talk, such as:

    Cyst—To help, as "May I cyst you with your coat."
    Banes—"I love Pinto banes."
    Barred—"Who barred my pen?"

...June 17, 1997 WineDay

Funny, punny label—After a long struggle with the French authorities, the Steele Winery obtained an OK for the label they wanted for their Blue Franc wine...yup, the label is blue and it's a reproduction of a French franc.

...Nov. 10, 1998 WineDay

Diogenes, Greek philosopher: When asked which wine I prefer, my response is, "Somebody else's"!

...WineDay Annex featured in December 1998

Michael Bonadies' book Sip By Sip: Viognier is the best white wine you've never heard of.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:
When you ask one friend to dine,
Give him your best wine!
When you ask two,
The second best will do.

...Feb. 26, 1999 WineDay

Yogi Berra: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." To learn what this has to do with Chilean wines, see the Jan. 20, 1999 WineDay.

We'll close with some advice from Jack Mingo's Wannabe Guide to Wine: There's only one word to remember if you're thinking of serving a pink wine to a serious wine-drinking crowd: "DON'T."

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