Bill Gates Gingerbread Boy
Complete instructions on making this madcapped mogul your own edible treat!
Comes with plans for the Bill Gates Gingerbread House—so large only he can afford to build it!
Make Bill Gates accessories, including gingerbread mousepad, laptop computer and CD-ROM.
Wow! Let the Magic of Microsoft ring in the holidays, with the ultimate family togetherness experience, the Bill Gates Gingerbread Boy. Complete instructions to make this madcapped mogul your own Microsoft Doughboy!
Here's what you'll need:
- Bill Gates photo
- Computer monitor
- Microsoft Word, Excel, Office and other software
- Internet Explorer
- Old Diskettes or CDs (one or two drawers of them will do)
- Baking ingredients (see recipe)
- Baking stone or cookie sheet
- Measuring cups & spoons
- Mixing bowls
- Parchment paper or wax paper
- Sharp knife
- Rolling pin
- Electric mixer with beaters
- 4 SIMMS
- 3.5" diskettes for roof shingles
- External modems
- DAT tapes for steps
- Hard drive
- CD-ROM drive
- EtherNet adapters
- Syquest drives
- Windows 95 For Dummies
- Video card
- Phone cable
- MS Word disks
- CD-ROM jewel cases
The Bill Gates Gingerbread Boy
The first thing you'll need is a picture of Bill Gates to use as a model. That's easy—pick up any computer, business or news magazine from the past few decades and you're sure to find one.
Next, bake your gingerbread boy. You can use a standard cookie-cutter, or cut your own. We chose to cut our own, giving Bill a very large cranium (he's such a brainy guy!). Follow the recipe in this section.
When it's time to decorate, place your picture of Bill next to the gingerbread boy and start assembling the facial features. You'll want to make sure to capture his trademark "nerd" appeal, and don't forget to include that timeless hairstyle. Be sure to add the glasses and for an added touch of whimsy, stick thousand dollar bills in his sleeves. Heck, he's the richest man in the world, so go ahead and make them million dollar bills!
If you have any left over dough, then Bill would want you to use it all up! Use it to make Microsoft products and Bill's computer accessories. Start with a mousepad, then add software boxes, CD-ROMs and use licorice string to make a mouse cord! There's no limit to the fun you can have with your Bill Gates Gingerbread Boy!
Next, we make the awesome "Bill Gates Gingerbread House".....read on!
The Bill Gates Gingerbread House
Bill Gates built a terrific new house for himself and his terrific new bride (this was written in 1996, remember). So let's build one too!
First, you'll need a 20" monitor; it's not quite as big as Bill's house, but for this purpose it will do. Place the the monitor screen-side down on your work surface, so that it rests on its screen rather than the stand. This will make the sides of the Bill Gates Gingerbread House.
Next, take your laptop and unfold its screen so it sits at a 90-degree angle from its keyboard. Turn it over and gently place it on top of the monitor to form a roof. Be sure to let the monitor cord extend out the back of the roof space—you'll want to turn it on later for a cool lighting effect.
Now it's time to decorate:
Follow the directions for making gingerbread sheets and the frosting "glue." Apply the "glue"to the sides of the monitor and slap on a piece of gingerbread wall.
Slather on more glue and gingerbread until the house sides and roof are complete. If desired, layer the MS Word, MS Excel and MS Office disks on top of the laptop to form roof shingles. Place the shingles closely together and overlapping. (You'll probably need to buy more copies of MS Word, MS Excel and MS Office to complete the roof.)
Now, check your computer supplies. Of course, you'll want to use your Windows 95 disks for—what else?—windows! Those free AOL disks make nifty walkways around the house, and stack the DAT tapes up to create steps leading up to the front door. Use the Internet Explorer CD-ROM jewel case for the door, placing it with the hinge on the side so the clear door opens up. Leave the CD-ROM inside. The hole in the middle let's Bill and Mrs. Gates look out to see who's there!
The Bill Gates Security Wall (optional)
Stack the external modems (or CD-ROM drives) up on their sides to create the masonry walls of the fence surrounding the Gates house. Apply frosting between their plastic casings to "glue" them together.
Next cut out your sheets of gingerbread and "glue" them to the sides of the modems. If your modem has a front panel that lights up, leave it exposed and plug in the cord—your kids will thrill at the pretty blinking lights.
Then, place 3 sets of Netscape Navigator disks in your food processor and pulse until coarsely chopped. Add more "glue" to the top of the security wall and stick the shredded shards of the Navigator disks in them to protect Bill from intruders. (You'll never know when the evil Justice Department lawyers will come lurking about!)
Have a great holiday with your Bill Gates Gingerbread Boy and remember, now more than ever, it's an MS, MS World!
Coming soon: The Bill Gates Action-Figure Doughboy
Bill Gates Gingerbread Boy & House Recipe
Are we serious???
The references to Bill Gates and Microsoft are merely part of a parody and not licensed by Mr. Gates and/or Microsoft, nor is this parody intended to represent their views. We do hope, however, that they too celebrate the spirit of the holidays with us and join with the electronic Gourmet Guide to spread a little holiday cheer online.
This Archived Page created between 1994 and 2001. Modified August 2007